but I'm free.

Morrissey - Terminal 5, New York - 13/10/12

   the difference between the 2 days could not have been huger. whereas
   friday had been full of anxiousness and just worry. the result of having
   that gig stamped 'Perfect and now an untouchable memory in my mind
   (how I like my gigs to be!) meant that saturday was a very different day.

   my mindset was basically it didn't matter how saturdays gig was, friday
   had been perfect, and there was no way saturday could top it, so there
   was no pressure, I could just relax and enjoy the gig with no pressure
   (so like a regular person then!)

   I swear the temperature had dropped about 10 degrees from the night
   before (people arrived at the gig all wrapped up) but there was no way
   I was wearing jeans. so I still wore my shorts, but had loads of layers on
   the top. Kill uncle shirt, 2 long sleeved shirts (and the t shirt I bought at
   the gig on the way back) the weather was crazy, the next night going to
   YOUTH OF TODAY I only had to wear a t shirt.
  
   I really liked the familiarity of going back to the same venue for a 2nd
   night. I had walked to the venue so many times now, that it was like
   second nature. even though it's 16 blocks away, I am still walking there.
   there's no way I was going to attempt to catch the subway at 7pm at night.
   and anyway I liked walking there. once you got past around 42nd street
   and times square and there was room on the pavements it was actually
   really nice. just walking and looking. I go by a vegan restaurant and see
   a group of people in there, one guy has a real cool denim jacket on with
   a backpatch, if I'd have seen him in the day I would have been stopping 
   him for sure to take his picture.

   I get to the gig and a bit later who do I see inside ... yep him!
   here he is.




   2nd date ... 2nd base!!! - this is how Kristeen started her set!

  what I noticed when I went inside was that the crowd was filling up
  near the stage a lot earlier than the night before. my position was not
  as good as the night before, more to the right. well that's it then, there's
  no way it will be topping the night before I thought to myself. little
  did I know then it would end up being even better.

   I had thought the gig might be more reserved than the night before
   (because more often than not it's always more casual fans that get tickets
   to the 2nd night) but just from the reaction to Kristeen (lots of nodding
   heads: people were really into it) I knew this wasn't going to be the case
   and the huge deafening roar as the curtain dropped proved it.


   'I believe it was Franklin Roosevelt who said...'

   Oh Morrissey. your start of this song is even better than the night
   before ... tell me this didn't floor you. go on tell me.
  
   the above video EXPLAINS IT ALL ... the mood ... the atmosphere.
   just being there IN THAT MOMENT ... the arm in the air at .29 is me!!
   (on the right hand side: at .29-.32 I am the only one punching the air)

   (look how other arms join in at .44 onwards!) I know, how perfect is
   it. I love how this reaction from the crowd instantly set a precident 
   for the mood for the rest of the gig. I mean it was even more intense
   than the night before. once again I'm just marvelling that I'm in New
   York watching Morrissey - and getting this feeling in the first song.
   I think I'm even happier than the night before.

   there is a really cool girl next to me who is really into it. I like it when
   people next to me ARE INTO IT and punch the air. I tell her that she
   is the perfect person to be next to at a gig. I have to shout because you
   know Morrissey is on. I tell her that I came from the UK to see these
   gigs, she says THAT'S AWESOME - I tell her 'you're awesome' - that's
   the kind of things I say to people.


  
   what I liked during THE YOUNGEST WAS THE MOST LOVED was just
   suddenly hearing my own voice singing along over the top. it just struck
   me in that moment of the importance of this song, of music (to me)

   my favourite lyrics from it (this song is on on RINGLEADER OF THE
   TORMENTORS album)

   a blush it rose if he had to say ‘hello’
   a lopsided grin strained to keep the shyness in

   there is no such thing in life as normal


  
   there is a huge surge forward for EVERYDAY IS LIKE SUNDAY. I was
   quite taken aback by it ... everything became even more intense after
   that. the crowds reaction on the above says it all. the night before did
   not surge forward or react in any way as strongly as this. 

   it did make the song very special. it was nice to get this glimpse of how
   loved this song was here (which I already knew about, not least from the
   Dallas 1991 video) and to get caught up in it all.



   best I KNOW IT'S OVER that I have *ever* seen ... the end was sublime
   and seemed even longer than usual and it just seemed to get more epic
   and surreal as the song progressed ... especially when you realised that
   just as you thought it was going to end ... it actually just built on that
   previous moment. definitely the fans favourite along with 'Everyday is
   like Sunday.



   obviously footage of LET ME KISS YOU. without a doubt song of all
   the New York gigs. which is quite something when you consider all the
   other songs, but then not really when you consider THIS song. getting
   caught up in this song. that person clapping at 1.06 ... GETS IT TOO
   (whoever they are) that's why it's about this song. making you feel this
   way ... that's why it will always be about this song.


   too much dude. too much ... doesn't it get you right there.

   Morrissey says something during the break in SPEEDWAY and it makes
   it just perfect. coming out of nowhere, catching you off-guard, filling you
   with that feeling, made the song even more intense and powerful when
   it came roaring back.

   to see it in context of the whole song, watch the below. you must watch
   it to get the FULL IMPACT. you'll thank me.

   like I said too much dude.


   'people think they can buy me with gifts, of rare Lp's and books ... and
   they can!!' (somebody was holding out a record for him)

   the MEAT IS MURDER footage. apparently some people walked out
   of the manchester gig due to it. have they never listened to the lyrics.
   I mean it's not like if Justin Bieber just sprang it on his fans one night
   out of the blue/out of character. surely they must have had some inkling
   what Morrissey's beliefs were.
 
   after this song ended Morrissey said 'and you thought you had tickets
   for Mama Mia' (!!!)



   still no ART HOUNDS/THE KIDS A LOOKER (though 'other newie
   SCANDINAVIA is played) not sure what to think about this. just
   hoping they'll be back in the set list soon.


   listen out for the repeated I LOVE YOU at the start from Morrissey!!

   STILL ILL sends the place wild. even more wild than the night before.
   people were dancing, punching the air. the song has a real rockabilly
   feel to it, so it was kinda fitting that it was like a 50s dance in a mosh
   pit!! jiving, punching the air - yep doing it all!! ... and lil Moz fan KYLE
   got up onstage and danced with Morrissey!!! and Morrissey held him!!
   security definitely allowed him more time on the stage than any of the
   adults!! was real cute to see. you go Kyle. it took the intensity in the
   crowd to a whole other level. euphoria, unity, mayhem - and then the
   song ended. even more than the night before, to feel all this and then
   have nothing follow it was pretty hard. but I was only sad for about
   a minute. 

   I mean how can I be sad for long when I think about everything that
   had happened during this gig.

   Gutted.
   a video on youtube shot RIGHT BEHIND ME(!!!) of this song, where
   you could clearly see me (amidst the chaos) getting into it(!!!) HAS
   DISAPPEARED. I can't find it anymore.how gutted. so mad because
   I downloaded the 'Shoplifters video so I'd have it just in case - but I
   never got around to doing the STILL ILL one ... if it ever goes back
   up, I'll do a whole post on it!


   Kyle in the audience with his dad.









   does anyone know what film this is? I'm thinking she's Gina lollobrigida
   what did you do last night? oh just danced with the moz.  
   though sounding very similiar the moz is not the same as the miz
   ... just so you know, for the future, to avoid any confusion.
  

   Shoplifters Of The World Unite
   You're The One For Me, Fatty
   The Youngest Was The Most Loved
   I'm Throwing My Arms Around Paris
   One Day Goodbye Will Be Farewell
   Scandinavia
   Ouija Board, Ouija Board
   Black Cloud
   Everyday Is Like Sunday
   To Give (The Reason I Live)
   You Have Killed Me
   Spring-Heeled Jim
   I Know It's Over
   Let Me Kiss You
   Maladjusted
   Speedway
   Meat Is Murder
   I Will See You In Far Off Places
    - - - -
   Still Ill 


   and that was it, all over. walking the last time up west 56th street. past
   the fortune tellers window (basically like the front room of someones
   house that everyone could see walking by - I had seen a leftover plate
   from some food on the way to the gig) a woman with her husband was
   looking and the fortune teller asked if she wanted to have her fortune
   read? she said no, she was just looking at the window (the crystal ball
   was on display on a little table and everything!) ... I'll miss things like
   that ... things like that don't happen in London.

   now when I look at Brooklynvegan and see bands are playing Terminal
   5 I do a silly little half-smile. it's like I can picture myself going along to
   the gig ... I may be in the uk but in many ways my heart will always be
   there. I'll always be there going to see some gig. having some adventure
   in New York.


   Previously
   New York Morrissey Fans
   the moment when it hit me.
   Morrissey - Radio City Music Hall, New York - 10/10/12
   Morrissey - Terminal 5, New York - 12/10/12 
  

Morrissey - Terminal 5, New York - 12/10/12

  

   boy was I set to hate terminal 5.

   why? my first morning in new york, a horrid grey day in drizzly rain was
   spent trying to find this venue (basically a black building with no name)
   hence walking by it countless times. a policeman sending me in the wrong
   direction (*wrongly* telling me the street numbers went higher the more
   you went up - geez) phone calls to my sister in the uk to try and help me
   out. basically going round in circles. hours later I found it - and was told
   you couldn't collect the ticket from there. but I could from the 'Mercury
   lounge (in the lower east side) because they are the same company (or
   something) so I went there the next day, and was told you can't collect it
   from there. I was told I could collect it the day before from the venue, so
   I walked the 16 blocks to terminal 5 again on thursday - and was told by
   a horribly rude girl (why do people working the doors always have to be
   so rude) that you had to get it in on the night. of course I envisioned it
   wouldn't be there. so I wasn't happy. I just wanted to have the ticket in
   advance before the gig (no problem collecting the Radio city music hall
   ticket in advance) so like I said, boy was I set to hate terminal 5.

   that was until I went inside.



   as you can see awkward as ever + who the hell I am looking at? dunno.
   forget about my awkwardness tho - just look at the KILL UNCLE SHIRT
   yes a K.I.L.L. U.N.C.L.E shirt (I snagged 2 - original 1991 - unworn, yes
   *UNWORN*ones on ebay last year) ... yup it's the best. my fave t shirt.




   cool Peta people inside the venue. they were very friendly. I wish I'd have
   spoken to them longer. how impressive is his chest??!! - veg power!!!



 the merch. some new t's since Manchester - I bought the black one top right
 2nd in. yes that's a cat on morrissey's head. why? ... why not. I very nearly
 bought it, but then didn't. the writing at the bottom says MY LIFE WITH
 FANNY THE WONDERCAT ... I know - why the hell didn't I buy it ... and
 it says USA FALL TOUR on the back ... damn - also deepely regretting not
 buying the green ENGLAND IS MINE (Still Ill lyric) one.



   so finally I am seeing a full Kristeen set. I only caught the last few
   songs in Manchester and saw nothing at 'Radio city music hall as I
   was taking photos of fans up until the last minute. I liked her as soon
   as the first song got underway. so much so that I got my phone out
   and filmed it (and I never ever film anything at gigs ... I only *ever*
   take photos) but I had to capture WHAT was impressing me so much.

   the quality isn't too great. but when I watch them I'm right back there
   at the gig, so they're pretty valuable to me. how epic is the second song
   (fantastic failure) I swear I became a full-blown fan of Kristeen in the
   midst of this song. I really liked the 3rd song but then nothing after that
   impacted me as much. but I didn't mind that, I love it when something
   impacts you strongly instantly ... it doesn't matter what happens after
   that, you already know everything you need to know.



  again I say *how amazing* is the below ....



   what I notice is that unlike the uk, no-one moves when the support act
   finishes, so neither do I. there's no way I am going to lose my position.
   so I stay right. there.

  again I'm thanking Moz for the film that plays before he comes on ... it's
  nice to have something to occupy your mind, and not just stand there
  becoming an ever-increasing bundle of nerves at the prospect of what is
  to come. and there is something reassuring about watching something
  that you have been watching for a year, recognising all the clips as they 
  begin. below: this woman from one of the clips is so cool.



   in the crowd I see the australian woman I had spoken to on my way
   down the street to the venue (asking if she was going to the gig and
   telling her my fear of the ticket not being there) she reasurred me that
   it'd be there. I asked if she had came from Australia for the gig, but she
   said she was living in new york ... it was nice speaking to her because it
   passed a bit of time and meant I arrived at the venue in a more positive
   frame of mind and not had my thoughts of ticket-doom spiralling out
   of control.

   she was like 'you got in!!' ... yeah I said! it was a nice moment seeing her
   in there ... in the pre-gig atmosphere and my jubilant frame of mind ...
   realising all my worry had amounted to nothing. I was in there and the
   gig was about to start.

   I love the venue. the shape of it (basically an oblong shape) just the
   whole metal cage-like construction of it. the width of the stage looks so
   small (like half the size of Brixton academy) and the whole place does
   not look very old at all. (update: it opened as Terminal 5 in 2003 and
   was renovated in 2007) ... and as I soon found out it had really great
   sound, so clear and defined ... the venue I was all set to hate couldn't
   have been more perfect.
 

   cool hardcore dudes.

   if there was one thing I was hoping to see at the gigs, it was some hardcore
   guys. I already knew of the love that hardcore groups have for Morrissey
   so I really hoped to see some people there at the gigs. then I saw the above
   guys on my way in when I was taking photos of fans. I knew they were into
   hardcore before I even saw the X on the hand on the guy on the left ... I
   just knew (I've been to a lot of hardcore gigs) and get this, they ended up
   standing right near to me, along with 2 other guys (one of whom I saw in
   the crowd 2 days later at the YOUTH OF TODAY gig at Irving Plaza)
   I wore a Moz shirt. no-one spoke to me.

   when the curtain dropped and Morrissey and the band stood before me
   I was just smiling. I know that 'Radio city had been my first Moz gig in new
   york. but I was in a seat half-way back. this was the one ... the one I had
   been looking forward to ... I just wanted it to happen ... be perfect ... yep
   the old usual routine I go through. and here it was starting in front of me.
   great position, great people around me ... I was in NEW YORK watching
   Morrissey. what I had always wanted. in that precise moment my smile
   couldn't have been any broader. if it was a movie it would be at the very
   end, a heart-swelling climax with uplifting music, a jubilant hit of 'Rocky
   type euphoria. in that moment I couldn't have been any happier.
  
   the first song started. it's not 'Last night I dreamt that somebody loved
   me' like at 'Radio city ... it's only bleedin' SHOPLIFTERS OF THE WORLD
   UNITE.

   floored.

   what I really liked is that (with those shuddering beats) it INSTANTLY
   established this feeling amongst the crowd, almost of swagger and attitude.
   ... but not in any egotistical way, I just loved how it set a real defiant tone
   to the start of the gig ... the opening song of a gig almost dictates what is
   going to happen within the mindsets of everyone. like if you were writing
   the script for a movie and establishing a mood - and this choice was just
   perfect. hats off to the Moz - like I said it floored me. seriously you could
   have knocked me down.

   what I realised instantly. this is not like at Brixton academy when as soon
   as the first song starts the whole crowd just surges forward. sure people
   react (arms are up and everything down the front) but overall it's a very
   different atmosphere and feeling. it's like they are happy doing their own
   thing, not having to over-exaggerate (or prove) anything. an example of
   the much cited new york cool? I don't know, but I really like it.

   just like when I was at CBGB's the last time I was in new york. I spent
   a lot time thinking 'I'm in new york watching Morrissey' just marvelling
   at that fact. I had a great view, the people around me were cool, couldn't
   have asked for anything more. the set list is very similiar to Radio City.
   'I know it's over'  is out but MALADJUSTED is in ... so is FANTASTIC
   BIRD (a previously unreleased track) ... not gonna lie. every time a song
   started up I hoped for ART HOUNDS. that was the one I really wanted
   to hear. then THE KIDS A LOOKER. it's like when you are at a gig and
   everything is just so right and you know a certain song would just fit the
   mood perfectly. but they wern't played. I just know if ART HOUNDS had
   been played it woud have been something stupendous. I was already in
   a good frame of mind. that woud have pushed me just that bit further.
   english reserve would have been long gone for sure:) sure I was a bit sad
   they wern't played, but I still couldn't have been happier at the gig.
  
   what I really liked is that it wasn't about 1 song at this gig. it was about
   the whole gig and the whole feeling throughout the gig. quite often you
   only get a few songs at a gig where you feel a certain way. I had it for
   the whole gig. feeling that way and being around people all reacting to
   the songs in their own little ways, without invading the space of people
   around them was a very special thing. I had always wondered what it
   would be like to see a New York Morrisey gig. that's why I spent a lot
   of the gig, just looking around, looking at everything, taking it and that
   feeling in.



   will I ever stop posting footage of LET ME KISS YOU from gigs I was at?
   highly doubtful. honestly, without going all wussy, even watching a few
   seconds makes me go a bit misty eyed. because I remember being there,
   just getting more and more into the song and reacting to it ... and all whilst
   having such great people near me throughout it. it was very very special.
   and it's almost too much watching it back now.

  

   the place goes crazy for STILL ILL. people surge forward ... there is
   movement everywhere. it was such a release, coming from nowhere
   and after how it had been up until then. and then it ended and the gig
   was over. it was strange, having this high of jubilation and then it all
   being over.







   a sign to the morrisseyworlders. obviously no-one else noticed it/paid
   any attention. and of course no-one caught it on film  ... but I did. once
   again it's MORE COLD-HARD proof ... yet it will still make *no difference*
   people still won't believe.
  

   so.very.morrissey.


   again thanks to all the moz fans that spoke to me and let me take
   their photo. once again, you made an english fan very happy. talking
   of the NY fans, hardcore guy on the left from the above pic, was singing
   along to *all* the words throughout the gig. it was a real nice thing
   everytime I looked and saw it!


   Shoplifters Of The World Unite
   Maladjusted
   You're The One For Me, Fatty
   The Youngest Was The Most Loved
   One Day Goodbye Will Be Farewell
   Black Cloud
   Ouija Board, Ouija Board
   Speedway
   Spring-Heeled Jim
   You Have Killed Me
   Fantastic Bird
   People Are The Same Everywhere
   I'm Throwing My Arms Around Paris
   Everyday Is Like Sunday
   To Give (The Reason I Live)
   Let Me Kiss You
   Meat Is Murder
   I Will See You In Far Off Places
   - - - -
   Still Ill


  Previously
  New York Morrissey fans
  the moment when it hit me.
  Morrissey - Radio City Music Hall, New York - 10/10/12

what badges are on my (fake) leather jacket this week.

  well winter is here. so it's goodbye red and black buffalo plaid as outerwear.
  and welcome back (fake) leather jacket. if there's one thing I like (apart from
  t shirts) it's badges. I've always loved how a badge pledges your allegiance
  to a band ... something ... in a oh so subtle way. so to mark the change of
  season and change of outerwear I'm going to document the badges pinned
  to my jacket. I know it's not the most exciting thing haha but I'm a bit of a
  geek like that!