the moment when it hit me.

okay so it wasn't my first moz gig in new york (that one was seated and
half-way back) so in a way this was like my first gig ... and when that
curtain dropped I couldn't put into words what I felt.

you see this dream of seeing morrissey in new york hadn't just happened
(like some spur of the moment thing) it was something that had been in
the making for over 1 year. It had came within my grasp, all-but-gone
and then suddenly came back. and I so wanted to tell everyone about it.
but I couldn't. cause I didn't want to jinx anything. you see I had always
wanted to see morrissey in new york in october. and then my wish came
true. but to back up a bit.

August 2011, on the tube on the way back from the Pulp brixton gig
I am talking to Paul about the morrissey usa tour dates that were to
be announced in the next few days. I tell him that october was always
a difficult month for me. why? he asked (kind of expecting something
dramatic) but it wasn't anything dramatic, it's just when october came
around my thoughts always turned to new york because that was the
time I was there last time, and I always wanted to be back there every
october.

'do you think you'll go' Paul said - 'what do you think?' I replied
'yes' he said.

the tour dates were announced but there were no new york dates,
chicago was the closest (so I was sure that new york would be slotted
into the free days around it) but it wasn't. nor was it added at the end
of the tour in december which I was sure was going to happen.

weeks turned into months, dates were added - but still nothing in new
york. even though october had long gone, I was still planning to go
through the winter and spring. when these seasons passed and summer
dates looked inevitable I knew my dream was all but over. there's no
way I could go to new york in the summer. I wanted to see morrissey
but there's no way I could handle new york heat. I mean I can't handle
uk heat ... and anyway this romantic notion was always about seeing 
morrissey in the autumn time. battling extreme heat just wouldn't have
been the same.

then in June I looked and the usa dates were up. new york in october.
and (get this) it was just days apart from when I was there last time.
... it had taken 1 year and somehow by the hand of God/fate/destiny
karma/Morrissey ... what I had wanted had actually happened.
TO SEE MORRISSEY IN NEW YORK IN OCTOBER.

that's why when that curtain dropped and this song started up
I couldn't stop smiling. it was happening.
what I had wanted for over 1 year was actually happening.


not my video!! (I was more to the right) err how amazing is the start!!

Next: my first Morrissey gig in new york at the legendary RADIO
CITY MUSIC HALL. how did I survive being in a seat (and unlike the
3rd row seat at the Palladium wasn't able to just hop over those rows
and onto the front row) and was that really the lead singer of a band
I like who passed me by in the foyer??