current soundtrack.

 this on repeat.

 

  a truly beautiful moving film 
  this affected me so much. on many levels
  I never go and see films more than once at the cinema
  I went and saw this 3 times

 

Do you worry about your health
And do you watch it slowly change
And when you listen to yourself
Does it feel like somebody else

And did you notice
When you began to disappear
Oh, was it slowly at first
Until there's nobody really there

on the street.

ryan

The Altered Hours - The Soundhouse, Leicester - 8 December 2014

BLGenius - Street Life, Leicester - 30 January 2015

All the sad young men - Spector

so I saw on NME.com that Spector had a new single out, so I clicked 
on the video, and was listening to it as it played in the background.

... it's very very different to what I last heard from Spector. 

I liked it instantly. very sombre, very early 80's OMD noir .... 
very Editors/White Lies (by way of Joy Division) ... so pretty perfect.

then something got my attention. made me sit up and listen 
(and actually got me RIGHT THERE, you know in your chest, 
when you know a song has affected you, and you could quite easily 
tear up)

it was just the simple repetition of the 'all the sad young men' 
sung 5 times at 3.00 ... so simple yet so affecting. it had me sitting
there, blinking at the screen at it's sheer perfection and power.

eyes now wide open now, fully engrossed. everything about the song
suddenly seemed more intense (and it was, more about that later)

and then I went straight back to the start and listened to the song
again, and paid even more attention now I know how that part
and the end of the song had affected me.


after a solemn beat, the song just starts instantly. hypnotic, inviting.
the first words that are sang meld beautifully with the omni-present 
beat. the lyrics are delivered very, very precise (almost guarded) in a
way that demand you listen and pay attention. power and strength 
coming from the sheer subtlety of it all.

the best thing is you've spent so long marvelling at the music, when
you start actually paying attention to what is being sang, everything
suddenly moves up to a whole different level.

... boys break like promises but only behind closed doors

the thing that I really love is how the song gets more fuller sounding 
as it progresses, layers being added ... until you reach the repeated 
lines mentioned above, and the intensity is multiplied as the song 
almost fans out in a sweeping flourish. like this widescreen epic 
playing out ... engulfing you. and then it suddenly reverts back to 
the mood it began with, ending on sombre notes.

the type of song you want to hold against your chest and cherish.

this reminds you why you put your faith and trust in music in the
first place. 

"all the sad young men" is available now on itunes.

Morrissey - O2, London - 29 November 2014

   So this is where it ends. my last Morrissey gig and also in the bigger 
   picture, the end of my 3 months of gigs that started with Kate Bush 
   at the end of august, and had me basically seeing a gig at least every 
   few weeks, taking in Lady GaGa, Kylie, Jesus and mary chain, Kate 
   Bush 2 more times, and 3 Moz gigs.

   it was an exciting time. it was nice to have it all happening in autumn 
   time. to have so many Morrissey gigs in front of you. until one day 
   you wake up, it's winter, you are no longer wearing shorts ... and 
   there is only one more gig left, and it's at the O2 ... amid 20,000 
   people. kind of a big deal. and you'll also be meeting a load of other 
   Moz fans for the first time. so I was a bag of nerves for many reasons.


   me mid afternoon sun ... nerves not visible. just about to go 
   to a chip shop and buy some chips (they were real nice too)

   The Queen Is Dead 
   Suedehead 
   Staircase At The University 
   World Peace Is None Of Your Business 
   Kiss Me A Lot 
   I'm Throwing My Arms Around Paris 
   Istanbul
   Smiler With Knife 
   The Bullfighter Dies 
   Trouble Loves Me 
   Earth Is The Loneliest Planet 
   Neal Cassady Drops Dead 
   Meat Is Murder 
   Scandinavia 
   Kick The Bride Down The Aisle 
   I'm Not A Man 
   Speedway 

   Asleep
   Everyday Is Like Sunday

   I meet Stu before the gig starts. I am ridiculously anxious and nervous. 
   and it no doubt shows ... but he buys me a drink, we get talking and I feel
   a lot more relaxed.

   Oh yeah, amid all the anxious-ness. Moz is playing a gig. in London. his 
   first for 3 years. at the biggest venue in London. this is not like the usual
   times I have seen him in London at Brixton etc, for sure.

   I had wondered if the gig started with THE QUEEN IS DEAD, how would 
   the crowd near me react ... how would I react? would I have the urge and 
   just be compelled to dart forward into the throng?! the thing is you can't 
   plan what is going to happen, things have to catch you off-guard, when 
   you just react spontaneously, like when I heard The Queen is Dead start
   up in Pescara. 

   as it is. the first song was The Queen Is Dead. and no I wasn't compelled to 
   dart forward. it was not the mass eruption (crowd wise) that I had expected 
   (and that this song deserves) sure there is movement in the crowd near the 
   front but near me, people enjoy it but there are no mass extreme reactions. 
   it's all very british. but in a way it's good, I can watch the gig from where I 
   am. I have done the whole going crazy/losing it to the music bit at the last 
   2 gigs I saw.



   Suedehead was a surprise as the 2nd song. it gets a really great reaction.
   Staircase At The University follows on. haha. this is where my shyness 
   creeps in. because Stu is to my right I cannot just react like I normally 
   would. if it was a random gig person who I would never see again, I 
   would not care less. but like I said, I go all shy and not enough alcohol 
   has been drank, so my flamenco infused feet-taps and claps remain
   under wraps ... but inside I am happy as hell. AND this may very well
   be evident by the 'cool-dude nodding' reaction I give to this song.

   forward to 13.30 below to get Staircase in all it's flamenco glory.

   in my proudest Moz moment (ever) I proudly inform Stu the next song
   is Istanbul. and he tells me it's not (it's actually World Peace Is None Of 
   Your Business) damn those sublime starts of songs ... getting me all
   confused ... *not hard to do, to be fair ;)

   I'm Throwing My Arms Around Paris is sublime, beautiful and still
   makes me melt ... oh and Stu casually informs me that he doesn't
   really like this song ... what?! (and I am still rocked by this revelation!!)



   and then he does Istanbul and I'm like "oh yeah, that be the song" 
   with that actual correct intro. me still with egg on my face (but still kinda 
   proud) just to make sure the moment is NOT forgotten, I have to point 
   out to Stu that this REALLY IS Istanbul. 



   I admit I like Smiler With Knife now. since seeing it live my opinion
   of it has changed drastically. it's still no Mountjoy or Art-Hounds 
   to me. but I do find it very beautiful. so Viva Live Gigs for changing
   your opinions of songs. and Viva Moz too. obviously.

   I film something for the first time during The Bullfighter Dies. I just 
   did not want to spend a lot of the gig filming songs. but I wanted to 
   have a few reminders of the gig and my view of it.


  
   I manage to redeem myself slightly by correctly recognising Trouble Loves 
   Me when it starts and telling Stu. and even though I knew it was this song
   as sure as ... (insert whatever you know for a fact is truth) I was still a bit 
   embarrassed from what had happened earlier, which even made me have
   doubts in that moment (?!) so boy I was glad when the long winding intro 
   turned into the actual start of the song. redeemed. and by THIS SONG.

   oh yeah. this song. well there's no way in hell I could react how I have
   in the past to this song tonight. for a start, I am not close to the stage
   or even on the second row. and like I said Stu is near me, and it's not
   like I think he would laugh or even think bad of me.

   it's just like I said earlier, it's easier when you are at gigs with people 
   you will never see again. you don't care what they think ... I mean in 
   Pescara I was basically hoarse from screaming the words out. 

   so here, it's very english. very reserved. 
   gently singing along.
   in the corner of my eye I see Stu is singing along.
   I didn't want him to see me noticing.
   but it was nice to see. a cute moment.
   you see in that moment what Moz meant to him.
  
   what Moz means to me.
   I like that it was all very subdued.
   no extreme reactions or displays.
   but all the feelings were there inside.
   bursting out and filling you with euphoria.
   it was actually all pretty perfect. 



   Neal Cassady Drops Dead is a huge favourite of mine live. I have all 
   but given up of ever hearing Art-Hounds live again!! ;) ... so the 3 songs 
   I want off the new album are:

   Mountjoy
   Neal C
   I'm Not A Man

   
   I love the swagger, beats and whole nonchalant unforgiving attitude 
   Neal Cassady has live. but I think that also applies I'm Not A Man, 
   and for me that song pushes those feelings even further.

   unbelievably there is NO youtube footage of this song. a shame
   as it would be great to relive the savage beauty of it echoing around
   the vast O2.

   I enjoyed it a lot. as it was quite near the end of the set. a few sneaky
   moves might have slipped out. but I am sure they were undetected 
   by the naked eye. or casual gig-goer. no word if Stu actually noticed
   anything. 

   Meat Is Murder affected me hugely ... because I was a bit far back 
   I could actually see the footage in good detail, and I am sure new
  footage has been inserted since 2011-2012? or perhaps I have just
  forgotten some of the specific scenes. it is still thought provoking. 
  and it baffles me when I read about people who have walked out 
  after seeing it and say it has left them traumatised. I think there 
  is a difference to being traumatised because it makes you have to
  THINK where the meat you eat actually comes from. where as it 
  leaves me traumatised by the people shown in the footage openly 
  treating the animals in such a disgusting way.


   
   Speedway.
   Speedway.
   Speedway.

   just like The Queen Is Dead. I had no idea how I would react when this
   started up. Pescara was basically the most intense I have *ever* reacted
   to this song (and yes THIS is me you can hear "reacting" as it starts up)

   but just like The Queen Is Dead from earlier. when it starts up nothing
   really happens around me. no crowd surging forward, so I stay where I 
   am. and that's okay. it could never be how it had been ever again. I am 
   happy to enjoy it from a different perspective.

   but it will always be Speedway.
   and it will always be special.



   by now I have all but given up hope of hearing Mountjoy. once the gig
   had got underway ... EVERY song that had started up, I hoped it would 
   be that song. 

   now I know it's very unlikely to happen. it being sang 2 days earlier
   had got me all hopeful. for me it should have been played at every
   gig. it is that important a song. I love Scandinavia but I would
   have happily traded a song that is not even on the main album 
   for one that IS and one that touches you on so many levels.

   so the last two songs are Asleep and Everyday Is Like Sunday.
   what I liked is that things actually went really crazy in the audience
   for this song, bodies were crowd surfing to the front. the audience
   reaction was nice to see and especially cause it was to this song. 
   so for the second time only that night. I filmed a bit of the gig.

   it's a great way to end the gig, it feels triumphant and encompassing.
   you could really feel that this was one song that everyone was so happy 
   to be hearing. 

   and that it's all over. no more Moz gigs on the horizon. your lil mini
   3 month adventure is over. Moz seemed happy and touched by the
   reaction he received tonight. I hope he does not leave it that long to
   play London, and feel that love again. 


   
   I'm such a wuss, just watching the above makes me emotional.
   'you should be a morrisey fan'
   oh wait I already am ;)

   I want to say hello to all the people who I met at the after show. 
   it was lovely to meet you all. I liked you all a lot. 


   me and stu. a cool dude.